Monday, March 30, 2009

Attitude is EVERYTHING

When I was a young child. I had a Mickey Mouse record player in my room. Maybe you had one, too? I remember that the arm and needle were Mickey's arm and hand -- with his index finger pointed out.

One of my favorite things to do was listen to music. I think I had every Sesame Street record ever made. (If only my mom had kept those -- I'd be rich). I remember one song that means more to me now than it ever did when I was a child. My crazy brain can still sing it:

Looking at my feet and the crack in the sidewalk,
an old tin can by the side of the road,
I nearly missed a rainbow,
I nearly missed a sunset,
I nearly missed a shooting star going by

So the meaning of the song is that we can miss some pretty good things if we are too busy looking down and feeling sorry for ourselves. In these crazy times, I am reminded to look up - up to where God is on His throne, working out His plan for our family. I am reminded to look up and see all the wonderful things that he has already done in and around me. I am reminded to focus on the rainbows, sunsets, and stars instead of tired feet, cracked concrete, and dirty trash.
Psalm 121:1-3, 7-8
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 The LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Friday, March 27, 2009

On a Lighter Note

My kids are the absolute light of my life. Motherhood has its full of frustration, but it also has its moments of complete and utter joy. So, I thought I'd share with you some of this month's highlights.

  • Toward the beginning of the month, sweet Sister had the flu, despite getting the flu shot. Anyway, the next week, out weather was cloudy, cold, and just blah. Here is a conversation we had in the car during that dreary week:

    S: I think the sun is sick
    Me: Sick?
    S: Yes! I think it has the flu.
    Me: Why do you think that?
    S: I think that it has been in bed under the "cloud covers" for a few days.
  • Brother is naturally smart - like in a "where did he get that" kind of way. Because learning comes easy to him, he has poor study skills. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at checking and double-checking his homework assignments to make sure he is "on task." Well this week, he came home and reminded me that his book report is due on Friday. When I asked if he was done reading the book, his quick reply was, "No, but I know enough about it. I will pull it off." Unfortunately, I know he is right.
  • Sister had a bad dream the other night. I guess it was the first time she had really ever had one. When she came into my room, instead of telling me she had a bad dream, she said, "Mommy, there were monsters in my eyes."

Thursday, March 26, 2009

I'm still here...

I've been away for a while. I just haven't had the energy to write about the whirlwind of emotions that have been swirling around us. Hubby and I finish up at the church this week. It has been very difficult for us and the church. It is such a completely new situation for us, that I can hardly explain it all.

In my heart of hearts, I know God is at work in and around me and this situation. For most of the time, I am at peace with our departure and excited to see where God will take us next in our ministry journey. We've always prayed for God to let us know when it was time to move on in ministry, so I guess I should be thankful that He made if perfectly clear that we are done in our current situation. So, I just wait. There are other times, however, that complete panic overtakes my heart and I worry about the money, the bills, the food, and the family. I look around at our nation's economic situation, and I wonder if we will ever find a new ministry position. It is scary times out there, and I know that our church isn't the only one that's struggling with the finances. So, I cling to God's promises. Mine for today is Psalm 31:24 "Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord."

It is so very weird to be leaving a church - full of people that we love - and not be going to another church - full of people to love. We have left ministry posts before, but it was easier because the "break-up" was on our terms. In those situations, the parting was full of anticipation and excitement over the new ministry location. Here it is just a sad good-bye.

We have decided to go ahead an visit other churches in the area instead of attending our current church until a job opens up. This decision gives us time to get some spiritual feeding, allows us to see how the other people "do church", and also give the church a chance to begin moving forward without our leadership. To us, it was the obvious choice. To the church, they are a bit confused over our decision not to worship with them until God moves us away. I know it is the best for us spiritually and emotionally. I will not ever be able to describe the roller-coaster of emotions that flow through my body on Saturdays, Sundays, and Wednesday nights when I am at the church. It is draining me to remain a positive role model in times when I want to shake my fists and declare my frustration and distraught.

We also need to exit the church because there are select members who are still trying to fight for us to stay and another staff member to leave. I do not like being in the middle. I do not like how the enemy is trying to use this situation to tear up God's church. I do not like people pulling me aside in the church hallways to whisper that they have "rallied some troops" for our cause. I believe God is leading us to a new place. So, we need to leave and allow God to heal the wound.

So, thank you for your prayers!! I know that is what gets me through most days. I will keep you updated.