Our TRASHY family

Well, we have lived through the first week of unemployment. I have to say is isn't all that bad -- except for the no money thing. I like having Hubby around the house, and we are really getting some projects completed in anticipation of a move. I figure that we have the time to get organized now, so we won't be moving stuff we no longer want or need.

One thing we have discovered is that our family has a serious trash problem. I would love to blame this on the kids, or even on the husband, but the truth is that our whole family has trouble throwing stuff away. I'm not talking about purging out the stuff you are saving for a rainy day. I'm talking trash. We had to have a family discussion at the dinner table the other night about throwing away your trash. I cannot tell you how many times I walk through the kitchen only to find the counters covered with drink cups, candy wrappers, empty chip bags, etc. We do not have a large house, so the trashcan is only steps away. Why can't the items make it to the proper receptacle? When we cleaned out the garage, we filled up 4 black trash bags of garbage. Some of it was broken toys, some was old magazines and receipts, but some was also drink cups, boxes from Christmas toys, etc. Why have we kept on to this stuff?

Now, before you judge me and my family, I must clarify that I am a self-proclaimed neat freak. I love for EVERYTHING to have its home and be in its place. So, that is why the garage was such a source of depression and angst to me. I would pass through all the junk in the garage into my nice, mostly orderly (I do have 2 kids, you know) home and close the door on the ugliness. Only when I forced myself to face the clutter and clear the way, did I realize that there is an issue that needed to be addressed. Not only did the trash need to be thrown out, but the old, useless stuff needed to be disposed of, too.

How often are we like that with our spiritual lives? How often do we have so much that is neat and in proper order, but then have one area of clutter that we keep behind a facade? It is hard work to clean out the dirty places. It is sometimes difficult to throw away those old "treasures." But the reward is far greater than we can imagine. In both the physical and the spiritual sense, getting rid of the clutter allows us to move on with greater ease.

"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1

Remembering Ethan

Over the past few years, I've had the privilege of praying for the Powell family - Ben, Becky, and Ethan Isaiah Powell. Ethan was just 2 months old when he was diagnosed with leukemia. Almost immediately, the word traveled through the Internet, and millions of people joined in prayer for precious little E. Through my year of praying for Ethan, I learned many things about God. I got to see first hand that there is great power in prayer. I saw the unsurpassing peace and comfort of the Holy Spirit. And I got to witness the goodness of God and His people. Unfortunately, Ethan lost his 14 month battle with this terrible disease on April 5, 2008 - a year ago, today.

"PRAYeR WORKS" was Ben's "battle cry" through their 14 month journey. And, while I know the prayer for Ethan's miraculous healing wasn't answered as we wanted, I know that God still heard each and every prayer and answered them in His way. I see how God gave Ethan a first birthday - which wasn't expected. I remember how God raised and lowered lab counts in ways that could only be attributed to Him. And, most importantly, I see how God used Ethan and his story to change people's hearts. Ethan was a mighty warrior in his battle against cancer, and a mighty warrior for the LORD. I know that his ultimate healing occurred when he was carried into Jesus' arms.

I've never met Ben and Becky. I became familiar with their story through a friend. However, I have grown a connection with them through my deep prayers for them and their family. They are spoken of around our home by first names. And they are still prayed for - today. I pray that God has surrounded their lives with His presence and they have been able to move through the unthinkable grief. I pray that God blesses Becky's studies at school. I pray that God blesses Ben's work. I pray that God continues to use them and their story to raise money for cancer research. I pray that Ethan's legacy will continue on and that more people will come to know God through the Powells.

Because of my experience of praying for the Powell family, I want to be used to minister to more families who are struggling. So, on Friday I will post more details of my plan. Until then, please be in prayer for the Powells as they travel this difficult journey.

Attitude is EVERYTHING

When I was a young child. I had a Mickey Mouse record player in my room. Maybe you had one, too? I remember that the arm and needle were Mickey's arm and hand -- with his index finger pointed out.

One of my favorite things to do was listen to music. I think I had every Sesame Street record ever made. (If only my mom had kept those -- I'd be rich). I remember one song that means more to me now than it ever did when I was a child. My crazy brain can still sing it:

Looking at my feet and the crack in the sidewalk,
an old tin can by the side of the road,
I nearly missed a rainbow,
I nearly missed a sunset,
I nearly missed a shooting star going by

So the meaning of the song is that we can miss some pretty good things if we are too busy looking down and feeling sorry for ourselves. In these crazy times, I am reminded to look up - up to where God is on His throne, working out His plan for our family. I am reminded to look up and see all the wonderful things that he has already done in and around me. I am reminded to focus on the rainbows, sunsets, and stars instead of tired feet, cracked concrete, and dirty trash.

Psalm 121:1-3, 7-8
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 The LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

On a Lighter Note

My kids are the absolute light of my life. Motherhood has its full of frustration, but it also has its moments of complete and utter joy. So, I thought I'd share with you some of this month's highlights.

• Toward the beginning of the month, sweet Sister had the flu, despite getting the flu shot. Anyway, the next week, out weather was cloudy, cold, and just blah. Here is a conversation we had in the car during that dreary week:
  
  S: I think the sun is sick
  Me: Sick?
  S: Yes! I think it has the flu.
  Me: Why do you think that?
  S: I think that it has been in bed under the "cloud covers" for a few days.
  
• Brother is naturally smart - like in a "where did he get that" kind of way. Because learning comes easy to him, he has poor study skills. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at checking and double-checking his homework assignments to make sure he is "on task." Well this week, he came home and reminded me that his book report is due on Friday. When I asked if he was done reading the book, his quick reply was, "No, but I know enough about it. I will pull it off." Unfortunately, I know he is right.
  
• Sister had a bad dream the other night. I guess it was the first time she had really ever had one. When she came into my room, instead of telling me she had a bad dream, she said, "Mommy, there were monsters in my eyes."

I'm still here...

I've been away for a while. I just haven't had the energy to write about the whirlwind of emotions that have been swirling around us. Hubby and I finish up at the church this week. It has been very difficult for us and the church. It is such a completely new situation for us, that I can hardly explain it all.

In my heart of hearts, I know God is at work in and around me and this situation. For most of the time, I am at peace with our departure and excited to see where God will take us next in our ministry journey. We've always prayed for God to let us know when it was time to move on in ministry, so I guess I should be thankful that He made if perfectly clear that we are done in our current situation. So, I just wait. There are other times, however, that complete panic overtakes my heart and I worry about the money, the bills, the food, and the family. I look around at our nation's economic situation, and I wonder if we will ever find a new ministry position. It is scary times out there, and I know that our church isn't the only one that's struggling with the finances. So, I cling to God's promises. Mine for today is Psalm 31:24 "Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord."

It is so very weird to be leaving a church - full of people that we love - and not be going to another church - full of people to love. We have left ministry posts before, but it was easier because the "break-up" was on our terms. In those situations, the parting was full of anticipation and excitement over the new ministry location. Here it is just a sad good-bye.

We have decided to go ahead an visit other churches in the area instead of attending our current church until a job opens up. This decision gives us time to get some spiritual feeding, allows us to see how the other people "do church", and also give the church a chance to begin moving forward without our leadership. To us, it was the obvious choice. To the church, they are a bit confused over our decision not to worship with them until God moves us away. I know it is the best for us spiritually and emotionally. I will not ever be able to describe the roller-coaster of emotions that flow through my body on Saturdays, Sundays, and Wednesday nights when I am at the church. It is draining me to remain a positive role model in times when I want to shake my fists and declare my frustration and distraught.

We also need to exit the church because there are select members who are still trying to fight for us to stay and another staff member to leave. I do not like being in the middle. I do not like how the enemy is trying to use this situation to tear up God's church. I do not like people pulling me aside in the church hallways to whisper that they have "rallied some troops" for our cause. I believe God is leading us to a new place. So, we need to leave and allow God to heal the wound.

So, thank you for your prayers!! I know that is what gets me through most days. I will keep you updated.

Dieting Update

Well, if you read the previous post, you will better understand why I haven't been posting for a while. Things have just been a bit chaotic in our household. I probably don't have to explain this, but with the stress, the dieting has also gone south. I love food, and I love to eat when I don't feel so happy. So, with all the job stuff, I have not been very disciplined with my eating.

To be fair, I have continued to weigh-in and keep track. My official weigh-in day is Saturday. This past week, I was up 1/2 pound. I was very frustrated by it all -- even shed some tears because of it. Weight loss is just so difficult, but regardless of my stresses, I need to be more responsible for my food choices and take better care of this body. So, I have been better this week, and hope to report a loss at the next update. Until then...I'll be drinking crystal light instead of lemonade.

We've been TRUMPED!

If you play card games, you may think I'm talking about my good card being taken by one that is superior. Unfortunately, I'm not talking games here. We've been Trumped - as in Donald Trump - as in "You're Fired!" This is definitely NOT a game, this is life.

The church is behind in their tithes and offerings for 2008, so the only other place to cut the budget -- after placing a spending freeze on the staff -- is personnel. Unfortunately, my love was the last one hired...first one fired. We don't have many details because the church is still working up a plan. We have loads of questions:

• How long will we have a job?
• Will there be any compensation/severance pay?
• What about our insurance?
• What do we do now?
• Is there any other options?
• Is this all God's plan?

It is a confusing time for us. I know in my heart that God is in control. I know in my innermost being that He has not lead us to this place, only to abandon us here. I just also need to know in my checkbook that everything will be taken care of. I need some reassurance that God will reward our faithfulness -- not by health and wealth -- but by safety and security. I don't like seeing my hubby stressed out. I don't like seeing my son worry about the future for our family. I don't like that my kiddos have seen me cry more in the past week than they ever had in their entire lives. I'm looking to God for the light and the BIG sign as to where we go from here.